The Pen of Guilt

I bought a pen today,
Ball-point, black, all I can say,
I took it home, put it to paper,
And how the words came, like a wave, but greater,

I let people down, blamed all but me,
But the pen, scrawled it down for all to see,
Every law broken, every lie told, every life lost
I couldn't stop it, my muscles turned to frost,
Guided by The Pen of Guilt,
That some demon built,
A sword with no hilt,
Like a flower, I wilt,

It took all things, great and small,
Words across the page, then onto the wall,
But there was one shame that repeated,
How I wish I had retreated,

In perfect handwriting, not a letter out of place,
It painted the picture, my friend's flawless face,
They were troubled, begging for my advice
And me? I laughed once, twice, thrice,

"Stop messing me around and get away from the tracks!"
"Why won't you listen?" she says as her heart cracks
I shake my head I wouldn't believe her, couldn't,
"You don't care, but then, you shouldn't!"

I think they're crocodile tears, if she was serious I would care,
"What is this? A joke, a prank, a dare?"
I'm angry, furious, why?
"You're an attention seeking child, fine, go and die!"

And so she did,
In the bushes I hid,
All blame on me, got rid,
Memory, I could say I forgot, just a kid,

But the pen kept writing this same deed,
For my eyes to gaze and always read!
I pushed her over the edge, into the train!
If I could reverse time, prevent the pain...

I bought a pen today,
Ball-point, black, all I can say,
It was my fault, that in my story she dies,
So I lay The Pen of Guilt, where she now lies,

Along with my admission, my note of confession,
I sure do hope, I have learnt my lesson...